Island of a Misfit toy

I'm "dark and twisty". Or in other words i have problems trusting people, even myself.
I have a genetic disabilities ; I have Endometriosis, Ehlers Danlos, and Osteoarthritis(from my EDS), and also disordered eating. I've had 17 surgeries in my 21 years.
I deal with chronic pain, and my blog is a way for me to deal with that. I love my fandoms. My ships are : Mcswarek(Rookie blue) Dean/Jo(Supernatural)Linstead(Chicago PD)Caskett (Castle) Japril(Grey's Anatomy) .

If you don't like what i do or say, get da fuck off my blog. Kisses.

I hate that i’m running out of pain medicine. I hate that people who fake things get pain meds easier than me, someone who actually needs it. I hate when people say it could be worse. I hate when i have to suffer, and go without for days, even when my pain is really bad, because i have to save it for the excruciating days. I hate that anyone able bodied who dislocated would be in the er, on pain meds. I hate being sick. I hate that people glamorize pain pills. I hate that people glamorize illnesses and disabilities. I hate that i didn’t ask for this. I hate it. 

I’m such a burden. I feel like i’m drowning. 

I have really bad hip/sciatic pain. And I haven’t done anything today that would warrant this amount of pain. Which makes me think I may be getting my period. Which, due to several months of this type of thing happening, makes me think I may have to add sciatic endometriosis to my list, and yes apparently it’s possible. Either that or this kidney infection isn’t going away, even on high dose cipro. Both make me concerned.

Jus got denied for Disability. 


My kidneys hurt, really bad. and I can’t sleep cause of the pain and the fact that I have to pee every 10 minutes.

Doctor asked if I had thoughts of hurting myself. I said no, my body does that enough for me.

Droppin more money on doctors today weew. Fuckin kidney infection .

Everything was hurting so bad after a busy day, 2 hours of sleep, and a hard work out, After getting most of my homework done i was also feeling anxious/tachy so i took a low dose perc and a xanex and now all i feel is numb. 








Reblog with your answer, tagged “spooniestrong”!

you’ll be okay

Wear bugspray dammit

Look after yourself. (& an alternative that IBD specific spoonies will appreciate: Buy nice looroll.) 

TELL THE DOCTOR.(I hid my chronic diarrhea & nausea for about 7 years and pain for many years because I was embarrassed)

You have been strong

“Avoid oceans 1998” or “Put yourself first” or “Pain’s not normal”

Listen to your body or advocate for yourself, damn it.